Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Ideals and disappointment

I always make fun of those idealistic people who have insane expectations about big events in life. Like, "I'm going to do this full-time internship, take 19 hours of classes, bring up my GPA and train for a tri-athalon!" then they get disappointed when it's mid semester and they're struggling to get enough energy to walk to class and make it to work on time.
Oh you silly people, you set such unrealistic expectations for yourself of course you're disappointed.
I'll never be like that.
Never say never, it always makes a point to whisper in you ear and let you know that you're doing what you said you'd never do.
When I first started part time at the clothing store I now I work at I vowed to myself that I wouldn't let it consume my life like Starbucks did. That I would keep up with yoga, eating healthy and meditation so the stress wouldn't get to me.

You know what that list is- ideals. Ideally, that's how I wanted this to go. Every day after I got home from work I'd tell myself how I would do my yoga and how much better I would feel...then I would sit on the couch and think about how bad my feet hurt. Then we lost 3 people at work and I got promoted within 3 weeks of being hired. Not only did I not do yoga or meditation I neither did the laundry or dishes and finally I exhausted myself physically and emotionally with disappointment. After a random crying fit over the cleaning of the cutting board last night I finally realized that I was one of those silly idealistic people who had been sorely disappointed.

So, I went to bed and got a solid 10 hours of sleep and woke up this morning with no expectations of myself. It made for a restful morning and when I went to work I seemed to have a greater peace of mind at all the changes that had rapidly happened.

I got off work and don't feel like death and even though I still haven't done my yoga I'm not viewing it as the end of the world.

It's interesting how we people think life should go. I know for me I hear of those people who have done and excelled at so many things in their lives and are constantly busy but also have brilliant social lives and beautiful homes and I become so jealous! I want to be them; perfect and endlessly interesting. But that's truly not my personality. I'm a slow adjuster but I'll get there and there will be a balance and I will have activities outside of work again but not this week and probably not this month and I'm okay with that now it, like most things, just took some realization.

No comments:

Post a Comment